Eyes Open by EsK

My eyes open, I feel calm, but not a natural one
Not a feeling in sight, in mind
I rack my brain, what do I want to feel
My mind hums back, inaudible, illegible
I close my eyes to form words from thoughts
Nothing, darkness was never so bright, so blinding
I am content, comfortable with the cold
But I touch myself to see what warmth feels like
Arousal shortens my breath, warming the ice inside
My eyes open, and I am alive
It is a temporary life, and I am exhausted
Only to slink down the staircase, into darkness
Each atom, following the other
As if destined to find depths that have yet to be reached
Away from the black days, into the blinding darkness
Where I can sleep, until awoken again

~ by Amena Kamaal on September 28, 2019.